My Immortal
by Ebony Raven
Summary: He made me feel... like I had a heart. One sided AxelRoxas songfic featuring scenes from the game. Contains spoilers.


Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or anything related to it. If I did, let's just say that Leon and Cloud would be doing more than just trading witty comments while rubbing asses in a Heartless battle. And I don't own the song _My Immortal_ either.

Warning: Spoiler alert! Nothing much aside from that. It's meant to be a shonen-ai fic, but since it's written in first person, it's not glaringly obvious. It has more than a bit of angst, though.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to Evanescence for making such a beautiful song and to KH-Vids dot Net for uploading every single cutscene in KH-2.

_//Words//_ are song lyrics. The whole fic is in Axel's POV.

**My Immortal**  
By Ebony Raven

_//I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears//_

Footsteps. I don't look up from where I'm leaning, camouflaged against a nondescript wall in one of the countless dark alleys in this light-forsaken world. You keep walking, apparently not noticing me or not caring, eyes filled with cold determination. I watch you from the corner of my eye before deciding to speak.

"Your mind's made up?"

_//And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave//_

You stop and look at me over your shoulder. "Why did the Keyblade choose me? I have to know." Conviction fills your voice, which remains as cold as Vexen's ice shield.

I can't control the panic and desperation that grip me. "You can't turn on the Organization!" I lash out, more than a hint of pleading in my tone.

You just look at me with those cold, cold eyes and turn away, clearly intending to leave.

Frantically, I try to hold your attention. "You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" I exclaim, even though I know you know this as well as I do.

You turn your head and carelessly drawl, "No one would miss me." Then you walk away, leaving me to stare helplessly at your departing back.

_//'Cause your presence still lingers here_  
_And it won't leave me alone//_

"That's not true…" I whisper brokenly.

"I would."

_//You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light//_

Some time (weeks? months? years?) later, I step out of the portal into Twilight Town and sigh in resignation. "Look at what it's come to," I tell you tiredly. "I've been given these icky orders to destroy you – if you refuse to come back with me."

You look at me apprehensively before hesitantly replying, "We're… best friends, right?"

I scratch my head sheepishly. "Sure… but I'm not getting turned into a Dusk for…" Then it hits me. "Wait a sec! You remember now!?" I ask eagerly, unable to stop a tinge of /something/ (I'd call it hope but we both know Nobodies can't feel hope, or anything else for that matter) from seeping into my voice.

_//Now I'm bound by the life you left behind//_

You nod slowly. "Y…eah."

This must be too good to be true. I know I should make sure you're not lying before I do anything else, but I can't help the sudden surge of elation that flows through me. Or what would have been elation, if I still had a heart. "Great! But, you know, gotta make sure and all. So, umm…" I hurriedly wrack my brains for some question you could only answer if you really had your memories back and ask the first thing that comes to mind. "What's our boss's name?" I wait for your answer excitedly.

Dead silence greets my simple query. You suddenly find yourself unable to meet my hopeful gaze and instead stare at the ground uncomfortably.

My elation (or whatever it was) dies as suddenly as it arose. "I can't believe this…" I mutter dejectedly.

_//Your face, it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams//_

You apparently decide that your desperate attempt at fooling me has failed miserably, and you whip out your keyblade. I reluctantly summon my chakrams and have just resigned myself to another unwanted battle… when you suddenly disappear. I look around in confusion before coming to the conclusion that DiZ must have interfered again. Sighing, I will my weapons away and force myself to accept the truth.

_//Your voice, it chased away  
All the sanity in me//_

"The Roxas that I know is long gone. Fine, I see how it is…" I make another portal and disappear into the Dark Realm, not looking back.

_//These wounds won't seem to heal//_

I follow you all the way to a supposedly secret underground facility beneath the Mansion. After watching you defeat a few Dusks, I decide to make my move. I am determined to end this quickly.

"Simply amazing, Roxas," I drawl sarcastically, walking lazily around the room.

"Axel." You reply quietly, and I can tell that something has changed.

_//This pain is just too real//_

"You really do remember me this time?" I sneer. Unlike the first time, the thought doesn't please me anymore. In fact, it pisses me off.

"I'm **SO FLATTERED!**" I yell harshly, filling the entire room with my trademark flames. "But you're too late!!"

_//There's just too much that time cannot erase//_

My little outburst startles you at first, but you're quick to recover and pull out your keyblade. Or, rather, keyblades.

"Two!?" I'm more than a little surprised at this, but there are more important things to worry about. I call out my chakrams and prepare to demonstrate why exactly I'm called the Flurry of Dancing Flames.

_//I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone//_

But, once again, I've underestimated you.

My flames die away as I stagger, fighting to keep myself upright. You just stand there, looking at me with those same cold blue eyes.

"Axel…"

_//But though you're still with me//_

I stay silent for a few moments before gathering my thoughts into a single, heartfelt (if I had a heart, that is) statement.

"Let's meet again in the next life." And for the first time since you left our world, I smile. A real smile.

You nod. "Yeah. I'll be waiting."

Even as the darkness begins to consume me, I can't help but chuckle and shake my head.

"Silly."

_//I've been alone all along//_

"Just because you have a next life…" I trail off, vanishing into the Dark Realm. And that was the last time I saw you. The old you, anyway.

_//When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears//_

And now here I am. Fighting against Nobodies side-by-side with your other half. I could almost laugh at the irony.

"I think I liked it better when they were on my side," I comment dryly.

The boy, who is so different from you and yet so alike that it /hurts/, raises an eyebrow at me and replies, "Feeling a little… regret?"

Hah. As if. I just smirk at him and say, "Nah… I can handle these punks. Watch this!" I leap towards the multitude of Dusks barring our way and begin channeling all my energy. Even as I prepare for what would most likely be my last attack, I can't help but feel satisfied. After all, I'm giving my life for you, and that's the way things should be.

_//When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears//_

I lie still on the ground as the smoke clears. The boy runs up to me worriedly, and for a moment I imagine that I can see your face instead of his.

"You're… fading away..."

That little detail hadn't escaped my attention, but I find myself not caring. "Well, that's what happens when you put your whole being into an attack. You know what I mean?" I reply dryly. "Not that Nobodies actually HAVE beings… right?"

I urge him to go and leave me behind, and barely remember to apologize for kidnapping his friend Kairi. I had to chuckle at his insistence that I tell her myself. After all, my heart just wouldn't be in it.

He looks at me sadly for a few moments. "Axel, what were you trying to do?"

_//And I held your hand through all of these years//_

"I wanted to see Roxas."

Ignoring his startled look, I continue explaining, hoping that somehow you'd be able to hear me. "He… was the only one I liked… He made me feel… like I had a heart. It's kind of… funny." I turn to look at him and smile. "You make me feel… the same…" I stop myself. There was no point in making the boy feel worse. I quickly tell him that Kairi's being held in the castle dungeon and, using the last of my waning powers, I open a portal for him.

For you.

_//But you still have  
All of me//_

Be whole, Roxas.


End file.
